Why I haven't posted lately

Well, I realized this morning that I haven't posted anything in nearly 3 weeks. Its been a busy, crazy, and heartbreaking three weeks.

After my last post, I had an appointment on Thursday, and ended up having to be put on bed rest and do some tests to make sure I didn't have pre-eclampsia. Went to the hospital on 12/5 for testing, everything was okay-except my blood pressure was slightly elevated. My instructions were to be back on bed rest till Monday morning, and come back to the hospital then for the same testing and an ultrasound. Okay-no problem.

Sunday, 12/6, we recieved a phone call from Jack's mom saying that something was wrong with Dad. He ended up going to the hospital via ambulance, stayed in the ER all day, seemed to be doing better till about 10:00 p.m. when his blood pressure crashed and they had to put him on a vent. I made Jack take me to the hospital. I spent my time there holding Dad's hand. Then my brother in law Mark took me home because I think him and Jack knew what was coming. I got home about 1:30 a.m., and around 2:30-3:00 a.m. Jack got home and told me that Dad didn't make it. His body just couldn't take what was going on in it anymore. It was horrible. I haven't experienced the loss of a parent, but my father in law was truly another Dad to me. We had a special relationship that developed over the last nine years, and I would jokingly tell him I was his "favorite daughter in law"-he would always smile and say "yes you are" with a twinkle in his blue eyes.

That week the whole family came into town, it was the first time since Jack's and my wedding that all 8 kids had been together. It was an emotional week, with lots of time spent reminiscing around the kitchen table. Everyone had funny stories to tell about Dad.

The last two weeks have been uneventful-we're still missing Dad terribly, but the sharpness of the pain has subsided, its more like an ache-you know, when you miss someone and know you won't see them again for a long time. We are finding hope in the fact that our little boy is healthy and everything is okay with my bloodwork and labs and with him on the monitors and ultrasounds. We are also hopeful that he'll arrive before Christmas, but I am beginning to feel like I will be pregnant forever.

I now have weekly ultrasounds, and am onto weekly appointments, but they do non stress tests weekly too now. As I said, so far, everything has been fine, so there is no medical reason to induce my labor. I am just growing impatient and a little weary-I want to hold this little boy in my arms, and snuggle him, and kiss him, and tell him I love him. But, I guess Grandpa hasn't finished playing with him, and giving him advice on how to live a good life. When Grandpa's done with that task, I guess he'll come.

Okay, I know I am impatient

I am now 36 weeks pregnant, and all I can think of is having this baby. Soon. I would love for him to arrive within the next two weeks. I keep telling him that whenever he wants to come out, he's more than welcome to. I even had a dream that I was in labor last night. Never mind that it was completely a whack-a-doo dream that I usually have (I was in a sailboat with Jack and the couple that bought ours, but it wasn't the one we sold them, and the boat was going fast and there was a big ol' catfish swimming in the boat because there was water in it, and it kept swimming up to me and I was in labor. Weird.) To say the least, I am anxious and excited all at once, and really want to meet the little boy who keeps pretending to be a soccer player in my belly.
Anyhow, apart from that dream, I slept horribly last night. I have done NOTHING all day. It was an effort to shower. Seriously. I need to do something soon-maybe I'll change the sheets on our bed and put away laundry.
I have my 36 week appointment on Thursday. Fun times. Those of you who have been pregnant know what that means! ;) Maybe the OB can tell me some good news-like "oh my, you're really dilated and thinned out, you should be ready to go to the hospital today!" Yeah, I know I am dreaming there.